So, yesterday, I turned 45.
Now, the younger me dreaded turning 30, but honestly 45 is a delight.
Why, I hear you ask?
Because I truly believe as I have got older, I have become a better person. I have learnt so many valuable lessons, many of which from mistakes I have made, but those ones are the most valuable.
Here’s some of the things I feel are important lessons learnt from the past 45 years, believe me I thought I knew everything at 25, and I’d barely scratched the surface. Like a fine wine, we mature with every living experience and the more we learn, the more we grow, the more obstacles we overcome, the better we get at really being us, our true self, no excuses, no seeking acceptance. That’s a great place to be.
- Love as hard as you can, don’t fear the pain, it will happen anyway, but holding back and waiting for it means you miss out on all the good bits.
- Live life to the fullest, but your fullest. We all get influenced by others, especially when we are young, but try to always stay true to yourself and only make the choices YOU feel are right for you, or wrong but are happy to take the consequences to those choices.
- Take responsibility, stop blaming everyone and everything for your mistakes. The choices you made were yours and yours alone.
- Your parents weren’t perfect either, they made mistakes, they learnt, they tried their best to prevent you from making the same ones, yet yours may have been worse. Live with it, don’t pretend, ask for help, remember they love you, no matter what.
- Make humility your best friend, admit when you’re wrong, ask for forgiveness and regret nothing.
- You’re not always right. Your opinion is just that, your opinion and derived from your experiences so far in life. As you age you realise most of these things are not true.
- Never settle. When something doesn’t quite feel right, it usually isn’t.
- Being kind is way more important than being popular.
- Most people are full of shit. Let me just clarify here. Most people wear a mask and instead of being authentic, due to lack of self awareness, will be who they think you want them to be.
- Friends and partners are not always forever. You either grow together or grow apart.
- Not everyone will like you, no matter how hard you try. Infant the harder you try, the less they like you as your inauthentic in the process.
- Not being likes is OK, you too won’t like everyone. The world would be pretty boring and very complicated if we did.
- There is ALWAYS a way out. No matter how tough something seems, others will have walked your path and survived it as some point. You can survive it too.
- If you don’t work hard for what you want, you will never achieve it.
- You’re the most important person 8n your world. If you can’t treat yourself good, how can you expect anyone else to?
- Overthinking is a complete waste of time, energy and emotional space. Brain dump it and bin it.
- You can only help people who want to be helped.
- We very often create a lot of our own stress.
- Don’t compare yourself to others. The comparison is always disproportionate and only leads to you feeling unhappy.
- Always count your wins, no matter how small.
- Appreciate who you are and ALL YOU’VE achieved
- You’re not grown up and you don’t know everything at 18, or 20 or even 25🤣
- Your body is actually your temple and how you treat it is vitally important and reflects in how it treats you back.
- The mind is a powerful thing and just as important as your body. Taking care of this will pay you back 10 fold overtime.
- Money, status and belongings are trivial compared to health and happiness.
- Looking back with regret will eventually kill you. Dust yourself off and make a new plan for your future.
- Surround yourself with supporters, people who encourage you to grow, to chase your dreams and who shout about how amazing you are, even when you’re not there.
- Partying is the best fun ever, but believe me, one day you will wake-up and realise you’ve wasted a shit load of time on nothing.
- Make an effort, every single day. By not showing up being your best, the only person you’re letting down is YOU. Looking shit makes you feel more shit that’s a fact.
- However, if you need time out, shut the door and allow yourself space to just be. No frills, no expectations just switch off and recharge.
- Do what you love. Find a way. Whether it’s work a hobby or time with loved ones. Do what you love as often as you can.
- People don’t think about you, as much as you think they do. When something goes wrong take the hit, they will forget about it tomorrow.
- You’ll rarely be the smartest, richest or happiest in the room, nor will you be the dullest, poorest or saddest.
- Taking a step that seems to be backwards is ok, don’t be ashamed, because you will find that step may lead you to a more magical place than you ever imagined.
- You’re not a bad person for spending all your money on clothes, shoes and bags, most women do the same thing.
- Being alone, is better than being with the wrong person / people.
- It’s not selfish making yourself a priority, in fact, if you don’t put your own gas mask on first, then those around you will suffer.
- Never judge or put someone else down. You have no idea what they are going through and you have no right to comment on something you know nothing about.
- Live and let live. No one on this earth is better than anyone else, so encourage, support and praise others instead of condemning them.
- What you have is not a sign of who you are, but what you do, speaks volumes.
- Integrity is an important trait. Doing what you say you will do, matching your actions and words all sums up the person you are.
- How you do one thing is how you do everything. cutting corners will not give you the results or success you desire.
- Finding the right partner and being a genuine team, being equals and conquering life’s challenges together is the best feeling in the world.
- Becoming a parent is the most amazing, but toughest thing you’ll ever do. The reward, the love, the journey of growth it takes you on is like nothing you’d ever imagine. It’s what makes you.
- Learn to accept yourself, warts and all, be unapologetically you!