Over the past 5 years, I have come to realise that us women put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be the best mum possible, hold down a successful career and try to stay fit and healthy too.

For many women this can literally be like spinning plates and just waiting for them all to drop.

I know, because that woman was me.

The thing is, if we look back at our ancestors, many women didn’t work, they were fulltime mums and that on it’s own is a challenging and tiring job.

But, these days, we take it all on and more, without giving ourselves much of a break.

Many women even doing all of this alone, with no partner and very little other help.

Seriously, being a mum of 1 with an amazing partner, I honestly can’t imagine how they do it, but I genuinely have massive respect for those who do.

For me, being an older mum, who had a successful business and a very busy lifestyle with that business, the change was massive, and one that actually knocked me off my feet when the sleepless nights took over.

They say it’s something you can never prepare for and wow is that true.

The brain fog, the exhaustion, the feeling of fear because you have no bloody idea what you’re doing in this new role of yours.

Add to that the current day social media picture of others doing this amazing job, to really add to your feelings of inadequacy and you have a recipe for disaster.

Support from friends and family is so vitally important, but if you’re anything like me, I completely hid how much I was struggling and put a mask on for it to seem like I was doing amazing.

Not a good idea looking back.

I had little support from those around me as they were all working full time, but I also had no plan whatsoever to ask for help.

I can remember thinking this was my job, my choice, my responsibility and I wasn’t going to ‘put on’ anyone else.

But what does that really do to us?

For me, I hid away. I lost love for myself as I felt so tired and like a failure.

I missed the old fun, vibrant, energetic, successful me so much and I just didn’t know how to get that back.

I was in love with this little human I had and the only thing I felt I could do was to shut down the rest of my life and focus on just her to ensure she was ok and that she had the best of me.

I saw others going back to fulltime work and businesses pretty soon after having their children, but just couldn’t see how I could do it.

I punished myself for feeling so low, for not having energy, for my brain not working as it should.

The only thing I could do was to just step away from the business that I loved and take time out to heal and grown.

Now, this isn’t easy when you’re a high achieving female

Someone who is used to working hard, getting results and chasing their dreams.

‘Time out’ is a tough pill to swallow, but, honestly it’s what I had to do for me and my family.

Sometimes we are faced with choices on our journey, that we never thought we’d have to make, but those choices lead us on a different path, very often a better path and one that we are forever grateful for.

That’s what happened to me.

Over the past 3 years, after having a break from my business to be a mum and spend the amazing first few years of my little girl’s life, with her almost every day, watching her develop and grown into an incredible little human, I learnt so much about myself too.

I have done a huge amount of self-development and even learnt some child psychology to enable me to be the best mum I can be.

I have gone from feeling lost, insecure, vulnerable and even very sad at some points (with myself not being a mum) to finding myself and loving my new path filled with success and happiness.

You see, when we lose a sense of ourselves, we lose self- love, self-belief and pick up bad habits along the way too.

These bad habits, like emotional eating, not exercising properly, allowing stress to consume us, all play a part in making us unhappy, unhealthy and continuing the feeling of feeling lost.

From my experience and additional learning, I have now coached many women who felt the same as I did.

I help them reclaim their identity, know their value and feel energised again.

I help them become a better version of themselves, a version that they love.

Because if we don’t show ourselves love first, then how can we possibly expect others to show us love?

How can do the best job at being a parent, a partner a successful career person, if all we do is punish ourselves constantly.

I truly believe that to be successful in all these important areas of your life, that you must go through the process of finding yourself and loving that person, no matter what the past looks like, no matter what mistakes you once felt guilt and shame over, no matter what anyone else says or thinks of you.

All that ultimately matters is what you think about you, NOW.

This can be a tough process to do alone, gosh even though I had been a coach for several years, I had to reach out o my coach again when I suffered postnatal depression. Some things we just cannot do alone, you can try and try, but there usually comes a time where you hit rock bottom and realise it’s just not happening for you.

But there is a way, I found the way and I can help you find it too.

I am passionate about helping as many women as I can to feel confident, happy and healthy and to stop putting themselves last.

We are important too!

Emma Jay