Hi all
Well I have to be honest, it has taken me 5 days to write this blog
Mummy life is unbelievably crazy 
The day just flies bye and we haven’t got a routine yet, as baby Quinn is only 2 weeks old
Wow 2 weeks, it seems like she has been here forever, we love her so much, and can’t imagine our lives without her now
I have owned a ladies only gym for the past 11 years, and have heard mums time and time again say how hard being a mum is, and I think that is one thing that was always in the back of my mind, when I firstly decided not to have kids
I was very independent, loved to travel, spend money like it was water, and basically do exactly what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it
I wasn’t ready is the point, but now I am, now I am ready to make the massive commitment to this beautiful little thing that has come into our lives
BUT, I wanted to also make sure that I had tried to learn a lot from the thousands of women I have rained over the past 11 years
Women who have, without even realising it, taught me a lot
I want to just clarify here, that I know nothing about bringing a baby up, that I am still learning
But what these lovely women have taught me along the way, is that
1. To do the best job you can as a mum, you need support
2. Never give up on yourself, you matter too
3. don’t be too proud to ask for help
4. no one is perfect, we all make mistakes
I’ve seen so many mums struggle to be fit and healthy, as they have no time, their lives revolve around the family (which is fine) but they put themselves last
The dad does his thing, his hobbies, his job doesn’t get affected by the kids, and yet mum has to change and sacrifice everything to adapt around them (no offence intended to dad’s here, it’s just an observation I’ve made)
then the kids take up hobbies and start getting a life of their own, which mum facilitates for them, again sacrificing her own
Now, I know lot’s of you are reading this, thinking, well that’s what mum’s do
And I do agree to a certain extent, and more so now I am a mum
But e mustn’t give up on ourselves, as I believe to be the best mum possible, we too need to be happy and healthy
to prevent stress, which has a big impact on the whole family we again need to be happy and healthy
so finding a system that works for you all is important to help this work
and initially, like fir us the past 2 weeks that is impossible !
but in time it will get easier
I’m a massive believer in not commenting on something you know nothing about
and honestly parenthood, I had no clue about, and when it happens, you really cannot prepare yourself for the change to your life
So many people paint having a baby as the rosiest most incredible thing ever
and yes I will agree, the end result (baby) is the most amazing thing ever, but so much changes, and the getting used to your new life, can be hard
This is why I feel it is so important to have support around you
I have huge admiration for single mums, doing this alone, because honestly I can’t imagine how hard that would be
hard to get a routine, go back to work
And extremely hard to find time for yourself to stay fit and healthy too
I had 2 whole weeks off doing any for of activity
I wanted to let my body rest and recover from the traumatic time I had in labour, and I wanted to get my head around looking after this new little human that has come into my life
BUT, for me and I feel very strongly about this, getting back to some form of activity, and good eating habits, was vital for both my mental and physical health
I could quickly see how it is so easy to get stuck in a rut of baby baby baby and not allow yourself any time
staying at home, and locking yourself away from the world, to just live this lovely cosy happy little life with your new amazing bundle of joy
However, all of this I see as triggers for depression and anxiety
And I can now totally understand how so many new mums end up suffering from post natal depression
As you all know depression, anxiety and stress related illnesses fascinate me, and I love to learn as much as I can about these, to help people overcome them
My role as a coach has developed over the years, and I love this part of what I do
So researching, and seeing for myself how easy it is for this to happen to so many mums, especially those without a good support network around them, was important to me to try and help other new mums prevent this awful outcome after having a baby
Triggers I see that can bring on negative thoughts and feelings, possible resulting in post natal depression:
– being at home, having this massive responsibility of a little human, who may cry often for no apparent reason, but that crying upsets you, because you have no idea what to do
– lack of sleep, because you are up feeding all night
– visitors back and foe, so happy and expecting you to feel the same, when instead you feel drained, exhausted, emotional and really not sociable
– hormones still flying all over the place, sometimes making you feel super happy, sometimes making you cry the ocean for no reason at all
– breast feeding is now made to be ‘THE’ ultimate health boost for your newborn, but isn’t for everyone, and is bloody hard. inability to breast feed can lead to mums feeling guilty, inadequate and extremely sad. while for others they get totally obsessed with it, and are reluctant to stop.
– no one to turn to, no one to lighten the load for you for a little bit, or to give you a break and an hour out from it all
All of the above can so easily happen, if you are not aware of what is going on, and if you are someone who isn’t mindful of all that goes on in your life, with you, your emotions, feelings and reactions to these
All of this can be prevented, by just being aware of yourself, not playing superwoman, and braving up to say ‘HELP’ when you need to
I don’t see this situation any different to any other form of depression, anxiety or stress
these are all things we can control, we can reduce and we can manage better, if we use the right tools, be more aware of ourselves and not distance ourselves from people and real life
It is so easy to get stuck in a rut, and not apply the tools necessary to avoid these negative feelings, getting out, getting help, doing things can seem like the biggest chore in the world
BUT these things have to be done
Sharing the load, with your partner, family or friends is essential for your health too
Yes having a baby means this little one now comes first in your life, but you have to be fit and well to to the best job of being a parent as you possible can
So forgetting about YOU, is non negotiable!
As much as I didn’t fee like it, Saturday I started a little light exercise, just 15 minutes, using a little stepper I had at home, and doing some body weighted exercises, to activate my muscles, mobile my joints and start to fire up my cardiovascular system again
My food hasn’t been great, well saying that, my main meals are always pretty healthy, but I have still picked on chocolate, cake and treats left from Christmas
Am I punishing myself for this?
Absolutely not!
I know 70% of my food is really healthy, so the little treats I’ve had daily really don’t matter for now
As of Yesterday, Monday, I have now got a little more strict with myself, and cut down a lot on those treats
So I did this in baby steps, and will continue to take baby steps until 6 weeks post natal, where I will then get back to my healthy lifestyle, and harder workouts, as I used to
I’ve been super lucky that I have an amazing partner, who helps with everything
Have we been tired and a little grouchy some days?
Absolutely YES!
But have we, then taken a step back, spoken about things and prevented this from affecting is negatively
Absolutely YES!
being mindful of who you are, what emotions and feelings are being triggered, and having the integrity to prevent ourselves from reacting to these has made a massive difference to how we have coped over the past 2 weeks,
This has also allowed us to get stronger and stronger each day, as we are supporting each other and working as a team
VITAL for a happy successful partnership and family life
so as much as I still have no clue about babies (haha)
we are doing our best, and I am totally committed to sharing my journey with you all, to hopefully inspire other new mums to cope a little better with the huge change
And to not give up on themselves
Showing how I am still trying to be as healthy and happy both mind and body as I possibly can
to hopefully encourage others to do the same
I have created a private group on Facebook for mums, new mums, mums to be, and even women who just want to follow my journey
This group has helped me no end throughout my pregnancy and now as a new mum,
We ask questions, give advice and support each other through what I can only describe as the toughest job we will ever have as humans
So if you too would like advice, help and support, or just want to follow my journey as a mum, then check out the Mumshaper group HERE
I am also vlogging my journey on Youtube, where you can see it all warts and all HERE
Being a mum means less time for you, but that doesn’t mean NO time for you
Once you set yourself a routine, which is important for you and baby, then you can fit in small workouts daily, at home
You may not have time to attend a gym, no childcare, and I get it
BUT, I have created a fantastic online programme, which emulates the work I do in the gym with my clients, who have all got amazing results
So can you!
The difference in this programme to others you see online, is that I focus mainly on your mindset, and lifestyle changes you need to apply to then be able to fit in the healthy lifestyle
Check out the programme HERE now and get my full support with both your mindset, and health and fitness
I look forward to getting a routine back, and keeping in touch with you guys as I did before, thanks for your patience and understanding waiting for me
Keep fit, happy and healthy. Invest in yourself, remember health is wealth
Emma xx