Wow well I am now 38 weeks pregnant, and I wanted to log my journey so far. Simply because I am planning on logging it after baby is born, warts and all, how I am coping and how I am getting back in shape.

So I thought it would be a good idea to write a blog now on my journey so far, then one just before birth, straight after birth and then weekly posts in a group I have created called Mumshaper,, which is full of mums and mums to be.

This group so far has been a massive help for me, as I am able to be open and honest about the fact I know nothing about babies and everyone is so supportive and helpful. We all share ideas, tips and advice, and I play my part with the exercise and nutrition.

So my journey.

I will start from the very beginning, a part that I have kept to myself

December 23rd 2016 we found out I was pregnant, my partner and I were shocked, but over the moon, but only told our parents

Christmas was exciting and amazing, and like a bubble of fairy tale happiness

Then January 11th I had a miscarriage, totally bursting this bubble of happiness and leaving us heart broken

My body suffered massively, and looking back now I cannot believe all I went through at this time, and hid it well from everyone around me, even getting back to work full time asap

I gained 7lb and lots of body fat during the miscarriage, due to the massive impact it had on my hormones and the stress it put my body under

Luckily, I have amazing mentors, an incredible man I have learnt from Dr Jade Teta, who is a hormonal expert. Jade had a few skype calls with me from America, and advised me exactly what I needed to do, to get my body back on track

and a Mindset Coach Dax Moy, who helped me through the grieving process,

I am so lucky to have these people in my life, and have continued having a coach in my life at various stages over the past few years, as I feel it’s something we all need from time to time, depending on where we are at, and what we aim to achieve, which sometimes can be hard alone

It took me 3 months to de-stress, lose fat and re balance my hormones again, then I caught pregnant immediately

I can’t thank Jade enough for all his help and advice, which has subsequently taught me a lot to pass onto other women who may go through the same trauma

So moving on, as you can imagine, when we caught pregnant a second time, we were scared that this may happen again

We couldn’t get excited at all, until we had the first scan out of the way and saw our baby for ourselves

Then, the excitement and life changing plans started

I always want to be as honest as possible, as pregnancy and having children is such an amazing wonderful thing, which negativity is frowned upon. I have every intention of being real and telling the exact truth, which isn’t negative, it’s reality and we have to accept that yes this is probably the most wonderful thing we as women can ever do and go through, yet it is not by any means easy or pleasant.

It’s scary, I have had moments of self-doubt, will I be a good mum, will I make mistakes, will I do something stupid?

And honestly of course I will make mistakes, of course I will feel shit some days, and of course, it’s possible my depression may come and kick me in the ass and effect things too

However, there is also the amazing, wonderful outcome that will be our little baby girl

Our lives will never be the same, but for the better, and we will have an amazing little family

Something I never really thought possible, as I knew I’d never met the right person to have this with, until now!

And if I’m honest, I am seen as an older mum at 39, but for me I know I am now the best version of me possible to become a mum

I have life experience, I am calmer, more grounded and ultimately happier than I have ever been, ever!

I am at a place in my life, where I am able and ready to give a little mini me the best of me

So let me tell you my story so far

From week 9 to 16, it was horrendous! I had constant headaches, daily, and I was absolutely exhausted. Actually, coming to work at 7.30am, working with my clients, then going home lunchtime for a sleep and coming back to work for the afternoon / evening. It was hard! And even harder running a business that needs me to be happy, positive and productive every single day. My role is to motivate and inspire others, which I didn’t feel I was doing at all at this time.

I hated feeling this way, I was emotional and moody a lot, constantly apologising to my partner, as I felt I was ill every single day, and hated being so negative.

I was still trying to exercise every single day, and obviously my job means that I am constantly active and demonstrating with clients, so even though they are not hard workouts, it is constant activity. This was making me crave more carbs than I was used to also, so my nutrition was changing already, but I was sensible and just accepted that now my body was changing so much, baby needed energy, and food from me, so things would have to change slightly.

I didn’t punish myself for it, just made sure I was still getting in all the healthy good foods both me and baby needed and allowing myself a few more treats than normal.

I have to be completely honest at this stage I felt I would never get through 9 months of this, but everyone kept saying it wouldn’t last and that the second trimester would be a lot easier. I just kept hoping that this was true.

My body was changing rapidly too, I started to get small thread veins, what seemed like everywhere! I could see I was storing fat, and losing muscle mass all over, plus I had a massive problem with my SI joint and my pelvis, which was agonising, and made exercising really difficult. In-fact it made a lot of things difficult, even getting up and down off the sofa was extremely painful.

Clothes were starting to not fit me, and buying new was horrible, as nothing suited me or looked right

So all in all at this point I was feeling great haha

However, being pregnant is a very weird and wonderful thing. As much as all of these changes were not very nice, and obviously completely new to me, I just completely accepted them, as I could only ever think of one thing, the amazing outcome at the end, our baby.

So at 16 weeks, just as if it I’d taken a magic pill, I felt better. No seriously, I really did. The pain in my pelvis just stopped, the headaches stopped, the other body changes obviously have continued to get gradually worse, but all in all I felt a lot better. I honestly couldn’t have imagined this would happen, but I am so glad it did.

I was back to exercising frequently, but my food still wasn’t great, I was having a few more treats weekly, than I was used to, but chose to not punish myself for this

I was still working full time, and honestly felt great, going away for weekends and even on holiday for a week, walking volcanoes, training daily and loving the sun ?

Everyone was saying how amazing I was doing, how well I looked and how I was staying quite trim

And honestly, I felt it.

Of course, I would have good days and bad days, but all in all, I felt good

We had a little scare about week 23, where baby wasn’t moving as she had been, and we went to hospital to be monitored, which was super scary

I can’t believe how amazing it felt to be pregnant, and feel her every move, get to know my baby and her daily pattern

BUT, when this stopped, it scared me to death!

And after the miscarriage, I just dreaded something happening to our baby again

We went to hospital for monitoring and all was fine

Phew the relief was unbelievable!

By now we are pretty much ready for our baby girl to be born, we have all we need, apart from some little things, her nursery is complete and we are car hunting for a baby wagon ?

We are good to go!

As time went on the poor movement happened again, but we were more prepared this time, and again all was fine

At about 30 weeks, I started severe itching, all over my body, which was horrible. I phoned the midwife, who again requested me to go into hospital for bloods and other checks, as this can be related to a liver disfunction during pregnancy

Luckily all was clear

At 36 weeks pregnant, things started to change again.

My SI joint and pain in my pelvis returned with a vengeance, and I had to change my exercise pattern again, as well as making sure I wasn’t sitting on soft chairs or leaning back putting pressure on my joints

But honestly, I could see the finish line, and I was fine with it. Christmas would come and go quickly passing 2 weeks at the blink of an eye, and before I know it our little princess will be here

38 weeks pregnant, Christmas and tired!

Now I’m starting to feel it.

I’m pretty sure it is the added effect of slowing down from work, and being able to have more time to rest. My body now thinks it’s on holiday, so it’s taking full advantage

I am now a lot bigger, I have put on in total 19lb, I feel heavy, slow and uncomfortable, but again, in all honesty I cannot complain too much, as I know some women by now have a real rough time

I’m grateful for having been able to stay as active as possible, and I am 100% positive that this has helped me

I am also grateful for having the most amazing partner, family and close friends who have all been super supportive.

I am nearly there now, and I am looking forward to life with our baby, and the journey we now have in front of us

I aim to get back into shape and be as healthy as possible to breast feed my baby, which is going to be something new and a massive challenge for me, that I’ve never had to face in my life.

I have always been fit and healthy, loved exercise and clean eating, so it has always come naturally to me

NOW, things have changed!

My body is completely different, I am older and I have set myself a huge target of September 2018 to be back in great shape

Scary I know haha

But I believe it’s doable and I am excited to take on the challenge

I’d love you to follow and support me with it

I am planning on documenting my whole journey both on video, which will be shown on my Youtube channel here

and through my private group on facebook called Mumshaper, here

I would love you to follow my journey, and if you are an expecting mum, new mum, or have had your kids who are now older, but you are interested, and want to share your experiences, tips and knowledge too, I’d love you to join us over in the group

Everyone is so supportive and we have built a lovely little community, so I look forward to seeing you in there.

For now, I will leave you with this, and hope you keep your fingers crossed for me, that my baby will come soon

Keep fit, happy and healthy. Invest in yourself, remember health is wealth

Emma xx